Greenpeace

Traitor Joe here. I’ve just returned from my winter vacation only to find Greenpeace is at it again! They’re trying to spread the truth about my greenwashing and nasty seafood polices. Really, why do they care so much about what I do? I’m just trying to make an easy buck without having to worry about the path of ocean destruction that’s left in my wake. When I think about it, I really enjoy selling red list seafood and hiding the truth from the public.


The latest Greenpeace shenanigans are these scallywag student activists. They’re like annoying barnacles on the bottom of my ship. They’re plentiful and won’t go away easily.

They’ve descended on local Trader Joe stores between San Francisco and Los Angeles asking store managers to live up to their sustainable reputation by pulling red-listed fish from their shelves. I hope each store manager tells these young activists to walk the plank!

So what if Target recently announced they’d no longer sell farm raised salmon and that Whole Foods has created a publicly available sustainable seafood policy? Doesn’t bother me! And no one really cares that Safeway has publicly dropped several red-list species and entered into a partnership with Fishwise, a reputable environmental organization. I’m going to continue ignoring the public’s cries for ocean protection.

If my practices are making you upset, then you can either walk the plank too or stop your bellyaching and do something about it. Every time you walk into your neighborhood Trader Joe's, tell them you are disappointed in their seafood choices. And, while you're there, remind them that you don't enjoy the high price of ocean destruction or endless supply of endangered fish that fill their freezers. If you know your way around the internet, you could also stop by the Greenpeace action alert center and make your voice heard.

Insincerely yours,
Joe